A fat guy with a big belly
And an accent that’s silly

He loves to manipulate
And control and intimidate

One telephone call, please
To my son, who’s overseas

He penetrated me with a stare
Asking “why?” with a glare

He’s thirteen and feeling ill
And of course I’d pay the bill

I’d have to get permission
From the Warden
Or the commission
Maybe Washington,
That’s my mission

Give me just three days
I’ll see what he says

He came back in a week
With a half smile, tongue in cheek

Your request has been denied
Because security is implied

Meanwhile my son is waiting patiently
For the fat guy with a big belly