My name is Victor
I’m now a pacifist
But more importantly
I’m a recovered Zionist

I was born over
A half a century ago
As a Canadian citizen
My parents wanted me
To have a religious upbringing
They sent me to my grandparents
In Israel when I was ten

As every Israeli
I also served in the army
In my years of prime
Looking back, we were
Just wild and out of control
But trying to have a good time

Three of us were serving
In my unit
We were armed and dangerous
Not yet twenty something
I was roaming around
With an Uzi machine gun

Although we’d never met an Arab
We just hated them
Taught at a very young age
They were nothing
But cockroaches and grasshoppers
The only good Arab
Was a dead one

One day our unit was called
To pick up a cockroach
He was in Tel Aviv “illegally”
He was our age
Not older than twenty-two
Trying to find a job
He said,
In order to support himself
And his family too

He was slim and tall
Dark skinned with curly hair
But he was also
Frightened and scared
Before deporting him we said
Let’s teach him a lesson
He’d never forget
Make him an example
For any Arab who dared

He was tied up
Roughed up
And beaten up

His head was
Our soccer ball
His back was
Our ashtray
We took off his clothes
So he stayed naked
All day

We started shooting around him
After tying him to a stick
To put the fear of Israel
In his heart
His butt we started
To kick

After we got tired
We threw him in
The back of our jeep
It was time for lunch
So in the burning heat
Of the sweltering summer sun
We left him to weep

We’d almost forgot about him
When we came back
Three hours late
We drove him back
To the edge of his village
Beaten up and bloody
Hungry and sweaty
Before tossing him at the broken gate

I never really got
To know his name
But in my dreams
His petrified image
Has always been the same

If one wish was
Granted to me
In this life
It’s to meet him
Offer my sincere apologies
Beg his forgiveness
To end my internal strife

I’ve been back to Canada now
For many years
I believe I’ve been cured
I’m a peace activist
And a recovered Zionist

*Inspired by the story of Victor Ostrovsky, the author of “By Way of Deception.”